Welcome to my page.


the president of the letterless suicidals has a message for you!

this page is built in the purpose of sharing my insider thoughts and writings.

i hope you can find the equivalents of my words, in your mind.

email me if you wanna teach me how to add a guestbook to my page.. please??????????????????????? : itcbeyda@gmail.com

january 18 2021

Mom and i fought on friday. She started to scream for no reason. She told me that she started to doubt me, suspect me. i had oil mask on my hair. i was going to take a shower after doing my fast reading practice. i was not hungry cause i woke up late that day but i accepted to eat just because sha started to scream. but she didnt even listen. ive been crying since friday. Home turned into a hell. my eyes are red and swollen i cant even close my eyes they hurt. about the suspecting.. yeah having a boyfriend, correct, 10 points for you. she said she suspected that i have a boyfriend. i have heard this ridiculous sentence 666 times since mid school. and no i dont have a boyfriend or a flirt, or a crush. who are you trying to look beautiful to, she asked. me a 19 yo, with unplucked eyebrows, didnt even buy an expensive product for me before. you are sad when u get a message from phone, it is your own life, u know, she said. while i am studying like a fucking dog to make myself believe in my goals, my mom is killing me. who am i tryna make believe in me?